An Idea for Change

So....this lottery got me thinking. It was 588 Million Dollars. Two people won it and they will share...385 Million. The government will get 203 million and that will be divided into oblivion. This got me thinking about how it got that high. It has rolled over for 16 weeks. For 16 weeks we have funneled millions of dollars into a system that has made 2 people rich and those people...may or may not spend their money wisely. We all know that the odds of winning are astronomical,1 in 175,711,536.....you have a better chance to drop dead of a heart attack right this second. That brings me to the question....why. Why when we have so many woes in this world, why when we complain that our economy is so bad do we continue to do this....we funnel BILLIONS of dollars into the lottery. 11.6 billion dollars has been paid out to 300 people in the last 20 years. That doesn't include the governments take. I'm not going to break it all down here, because I really don't need to....we all get the point.

That's a lot of money

There are so many other things that we could be doing with that money. Things that benefit us all as a whole...our education system is *sighs* a joke, people are homeless, hungry, and destitute all around us. We don't need our government to tell us that we can see it on a daily basis...yet we look to them to fix our woes when we could be fixing them ourselves. No one MAKES us spend that much money on lottery. It isn't a necessity. We could develope an energy source that could change the world with that kind of money. We could create so many helpful ideas...so many. But yet we continue on as if we are the only ones that matter...if I win...I'll be happy...who cares about all that other stuff...I'll be happy. Sadly the odds are against it though. Two people are very happy today though....I have a hard time not thinking of all the ones that aren't though. I hope it was money well spent.

Creation of Me Part 1

The Creation of Me

Let me start off by saying that I take full responsibility for being me. I realize now that choice has always been in my hands. I didn't always know this, but I know this now. It has taken me a really long time to comprehend things that were for better or worse, given to me as part of this experience that I live. I think it’s important to understand who we are and how we became who we are in order to move forward into an awakened state.

I am a timid creature, always trepidatious. I am really good at hiding that though…for survival purposes it is a must. I am an Introvert to the extreme. I live inside myself fully. I have turned my energy inward.

I try very hard to make sense of things so that I feel safe. If I understand then I am at peace. If I can’t get my head around something I am at unrest. I have for as long as I can remember…felt pulled. I feel something calling, pulling. Like the earth being pulled around the sun, spinning in place while tumbling at 67,000+ mph.  It puts me in a state of constant disorder because I don’t always understand it. Sometimes I do and I choose to ignore the pull or fight with it, turning it within as it twirls into absolute chaos. Then there are the times that I listen to this….this melody that is being played that only I can hear. My vibrations change, my energy changes, I have dreams that are spiritual and absolutely overwhelming. Taking my breath away and leaving me weeping with joy, a part of the absoluteness of it all. I never forget these dreams and the feelings attached to them remain to this day, a well of fragrant power for me. There is a down side to this though. Because with those dreams, the other dreams come… the other dreams that are absolutely terrifying! I have woken up literally scrambling up my bed saying OMG what the FUCK was that!!! My heart racing a hundred miles an hour, knowing that shit was real, afraid to move because you still feel darkness on you. I have awakened myself speaking languages that I do not know, fluently…then realizing that I am and it all disappears in a wisp of proverbial smoke. I know that I see things differently and it scares me.

Most people see that creation happened at one point in time…big bang…boom! I see it differently, I see that I am, we are, it is, in a process of creation. I am still being created and so is everyone and everything around me. Everything that I feel, see, hear, taste, touch, love, hate…..every single minute thing down to the air I breathe and the food I eat, the people I meet, creates who I am, an act of osmosis if you will. For me, it has always been that way and it always will. I didn't always know this though.

I have my hand in your clay and you have your hand in mine, sometimes indirectly and sometimes directly. Sometimes, I have been molded with rough uncaring hands, and sometimes I have been molded with love. I have had a lot of moments, some I could control and some I could not, so many hands at work…that you wonder in amazement how you got to where you are at this moment in time.

I think I may have been a story teller in a past life sometimes. I see everything as a story to be told, a face to read, a page to turn, a window to look through, an idea to make love to, a flower field to lay in…a scent to still me. It amazes me how far forward one can move in the presence of Stillness...

My Eclectic Mind

There are so many things that float through my mind. Some things stay and live within and others flutter off bouncing from flower to flower. So...here I am creating a blog so that I can share the things that interest this  mind of mine.

Within you will probably find lots of colors...I am a whore when it comes to color. Everyone always ask what your favorite color is but I find that I like them all. The colors that I like at any given time are effected by my mood, my thoughts, my emotions. Though if you held me down and tortured me I would probably scream out GREEN at the top of my lungs.

Green and I go way back. I do after all, see the world through green eyes.